


We're Friends, Right?

by meowgicmage (queerfindings)



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Brotp, Gen, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Sera Being Sera
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-12
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2019-06-26 04:25:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15655716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queerfindings/pseuds/meowgicmage
Summary: If Sera's an expert at anything, it's messing with people, but when she finds Krem the victim of someone other than her, it's immediately clear this is no joke. Pranks aren't supposed to hurt. Confuse, embarrass, teach a lesson, but never make someone she cares about look like they just took a fist in the gut while he excuses it as "just a prank". So she makes it right like good friends do. And if the cruel jokester gets the Thedas equivalent of Icy Hot in their knickers, well, she's sure that's "just a prank" too.





	We're Friends, Right?

**Author's Note:**

> tw: transphobia, but nothing graphic

Sera loved a good prank. A little something to make some tosser fall on his arse, maybe something too-hot slipped into wine so Lady So-n-So would choke and embarrass herself at a party. She spent almost as long looking into various potential trip-ups as she did firing arrows into a target over and over, not until she got it right but until she couldn’t get it wrong. What she did, she did well, and she’d be damned if she didn’t take even the most laughable scheme seriously.

Sera loved a good prank, but this didn’t look anything like that. Krem stood outside his tent in Haven, the muscles in his back rigid with tension. His hands balled into fists at his side, uncurled, and then clenched again. He didn’t hear Sera until she was right next to him. She cocked her head. The sun was just barely peeking between the mountains, to illuminate a whole load of colored cloth flung all over his tent and the ground around it.

“Wot am I lookin’ at here?” 

“A joke,” his voice squeezed out between clenched teeth. “It’s just a joke.” 

“You, uh, alright there, mate? Sound like you’re about to cry.” Her brows furrowed. Pranks weren’t supposed to hurt like this, but she couldn’t see what exactly it was that made him look like he’d been sucker punched. Still, Krem was good people and she hated to see a maybe-friend get got like this.

“Help me get these down before Bull gets up,” he requested, again with the low, carefully controlled voice. Sera bounced up closer to his tent and started helping him pull down the little pieces of silk and cotton that fluttered in the early morning breeze. She’d been up enough skirts to know what she was holding, and she paused to look at Krem once more, the pair of ladies knickers half-forgotten in her hand. He worked with quick, jerky movements, eyes on the task ahead though it only took a second to see he was miles away. 

Sera liked to eat with the Chargers. They reminded her of family, the closest she got living on the streets, and they were a bang-up good time when they all got drinking. With her first go-to, Krem, out of the picture, The Iron Bull was her second choice on anything related to the Chargers. She found him after breakfast and jerked her head at the path down by the apothecary, usually empty other than old Elfin Glory, who generally steered clear of her after she put itching powder in his breeches when he called her something rude in Elven. At least, she was pretty sure it was rude. Didn’t stop to ask. 

“What’s up?” Bull asked once they were away from the Chantry building. 

“So, um, Krem, he’s cool yeah?” Sera scratched her belly. “Nothin’ rattles him.” 

“He’s solid. Why?” 

“Any reason he might...mm, look he said not to say nothin’, but I’m worried about him okay?” Now she had his full attention. They stopped to lean against the side of the apothecary, and she gave him a brief summary of the morning’s events. The change was immediate, a thunderous scowl crossed his face, and he snorted like an angry wyvern. When Sera just gave him a confused look, he shook his head. 

“Thought Lavellan woulda told you-”

“Cuz she’s an elf? And we go- we go skippin’ around bein’ elfy together?” She sniped. 

“Don’t be a shit, this is important. Krem was born a woman, but he’s a man now. Some of the soldiers got a problem with that, but he won’t tell me who they are so I can straighten it out. I respect wanting to sort your own battles, but I wish he’d let me crack some skulls. They’re practically fucking with my kid here.” 

“Oh.” Sera mulled that over. They watched a small group of soldiers pass on their way to the tavern. Sera flicked an ear and pulled herself straight. “Right. Thanks, Bull, you’re a peach.” She punched his side affectionately on her way past. 

Krem practiced away from the field where the soldiers were, around the back of the hill by the forge. For the second time that day he didn’t see her coming until she was within speaking distance. He thumped his hammer onto the ground and leaned on the handle to drag the back of his hand across his forehead. 

“Sera.” 

“Krem.” She nodded to him and bounced a little on the balls of her feet. “Right, I asked Bull why you were so upset this morning.” 

“Sera!” This time hissed with a scowl. She flapped her hands at him and came closer. 

“Y’got me thinkin’, what was I supposed to do? Anyway, he told me about stuff.” 

Krem gave her a once-over, and something close to wariness crossed. It stung more than she wanted to admit. Krem was nice and real and he liked the same girls as she did so he was good fun in the tavern. And he looked at her like he wasn’t sure if she’d be nice and real and good fun back.

“You used to be a lady?” Krem winced. “Can’t see it,” Sera announced. “Don’t care. You’re- we’re friends, right? You and me? Pals. I like you.” When he didn’t say anything, the silence dragged around them. She puffed out her cheeks and stared at the sky, at the glowing green thing that hung of their heads. “I think I know why you didn’t want Bull to know. He’d kill ‘em.” 

“He has before,” Krem murmured. 

“So y’don’t want blood on your hands. Makes you decent, but an easy target. Bet my teeth them stupid tossers know it too. You’re easy pickin’s, so they just keep comin’. Well what if we don’t kill ‘em? Just, y’know, teach ‘em a lesson.” 

“What did you have in mind?”

Sera loved a good prank. A little something to make some tosser fall on his arse, in front of Commander Jackboot at that, who ripped the whole regiment a new one. Something too-hot, turned to salve and rubbed all over a few codpieces, and watching them all try to hold a shield wall with their privates burning was great fun. Clothes nicked off lines and out of packs, replaced with ladies knickers so they knew exactly who it was that sent her. Sera took her pranks as seriously as she took her archery. The advisors tried to summon her for a spanking, so she just didn’t show, and sent Lavellan in her place. Very much the idiot savant, the Inquisitor went. And Sera headed to the tavern. 

Krem jostled over on the bench and passed her his mug for a drink. She slung an arm over her friend’s shoulders and joined in on a rude Fereldan drinking song. Across the table, the Iron Bull shot her a grateful smile. She just winked and thumbed her nose. Sera loved a good prank.


End file.
